Having a random hookup so left but love u
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Randomize
