I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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