My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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