Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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