"it" just moved
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
