And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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