I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
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And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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