So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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