i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
