Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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