doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The best revenge is premature balding
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
