Me. At least after what I've been through.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
