She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
