I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
