I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
