just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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