You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
