I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I will be naked everywhere
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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