Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize