Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
