You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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