four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
