Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
