got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
