wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
