He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
