I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize