she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
