Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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