i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
