I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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