what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
