Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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