I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
