I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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