So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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