Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
