Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
