I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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