I'm sorry my penis didn't work
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
