areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize