And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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