i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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