I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
