the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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