I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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