So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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