Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
