how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
