I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
