This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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