I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
