While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
