I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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