Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
