How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
