1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
