Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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