I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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