That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
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he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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I think I just shit out all my problems.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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