I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
operation harelip BJ is a go
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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