Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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