Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
